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Andorians

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Project Blue Book

I'm telling you gentlemen, I have been to outer space and there are no little green men with antenna. They're blue.

I loves me some Andorians. Andorians are not made of cells or molecules, but rather are composed of pure science-fictiony goodness. Not unlike how fairies and nymphs are composed of pixie dust and laughter. Andorians are almost certainly the guys who bought up all that good beach front property once the Federation was formed. They are also a cross between Na'vi and The Devil.


History and Such Edit

Andorians are from Andor. Or Andoria. Or Hoth. Or Your Mom. That would explain why they look so weird. Hmmmm....

Andorians enjoy death rays, ice cream, air conditioning, The Tick, and wanton icepick-based violence. After violently killing each other over different sheets of ice for countless years, Andorians spread into space killing Tellarites, Vulcans, Humans, and Orions. Andorians later found they liked humans well enough and joined their funky hippie commune-thing in 2161. Humans got on the good side of Andorians in the 2150s, promising them antimatter based engines and weapons to kill the mysterious Romulans. United Earth originally offered a $500 bounty on Romulan heads to Andorian privateers, but most of the blood-thirsty blue-bug men admitted death to Romulans for free ,'cuz as we all know according to "Journey to Babel-on-and-on", Andorians love some killin' o' things.

Maybe Janeway interned on the Andorian homeworld.

Like all industrialized societies, Andor(ia) had the problem of mutant freaks living under their population centers. On Earth, these foul creatures were know as CHUDS. Andorians named their deformed, flesh eating underground dwelling cousins The Aenar which in Andorian means "Don't fucking go down there lest ye be consumed by blind ghoulish horrors." The Aenar threat was ended once and for all in 2164 when the famous Andorian Admiral Shran of Starfleet led a combined marine company armed with shotguns and chainsaws into the Aenar tunnels.

One Tellarite trooper involved in the operation made this historic quote; "They smelled like rotting jerky, but with enough BBQ sauce they were tasty enough."

Shran later became President of the Federation on a pro-gun and flat-tax platform.

Andorians, according to utterly fucking retarded kinda-canon novels, have like 4 sexes and other stupid shit.

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