Ask Locutus of Borg

About

Ever wondered what it's like to be a Borg drone? Living on that crazy cube-shaped ship, hearing the thoughts of thousands of other victims like yourself, being fondled by the crazy legless Borg Queen day and night, and day and night, without mercy, Oh My God Kill Me Please!! Anyway...

We've set up an interview with Locutus of Borg, starship killer of Wolf 358.5 fame, and we will be asking your questions... perhaps... sooner or later... probably later!

There are prizes, too! If your question is selected, you'll have a chance to win something. For legal mumbo jumbo, click here.

How it works

• Not at all! Did you really think we've been putting much thought into this right now? Just ask your crazy questions, dammit, and we'll see what happens next! You can be glad that someone even reads what you write.
• Someone is going to choose 20 some questions, which will be forwarded to Locutus of Borg.
• Some of those questions will probably be thrown away, others ignored.
• The remaining 10 some questions, together with an answer, will be posted in this spot. Wait for it! No, really, do!
• Uhm, yeah, that's about it... plus something about those prizes we promised earlier.
• Frak it, I need a drink now...

Questions go here

• So, Locutus, how do you feel about Nero stealing certain Borg design elements for his big, scarey ship? As a follow-up, does the Borg have a parody node that started strong but became a haven for jokesters who giggle when they write the word boobs? Just asking. Since this probably will be the only question put to you, Loc (can I call you that?), let me suggest giving me Bill Shatner's unused premiere tickets. Or maybe one of Anthony Pascale's check stubs from Paramount. Resistance is feudal. Red alert.
• Why couldn't the Borg just beam some drones down to 21st century Earth at the start of "First Contact"? That would've been funny!
• Do Borg poop?
• Why did you try to assimilate Whoopi Goldberg?
• Did you smile when Ben Sisko's wife died?
• Do nanites itch, like fleas?
• If one Borg gets hammered, do you all get hammered?
• Where's Hue? What's he up to these days?
• Be honest. All those people Voyager helped in the Delta Quadrant over seven years, you've assimilated them all by now haven't you?
• If you assimilate a muppet, who gets the cybernetic implants? The guy or the muppet on his arm? (Yikes. What a terrifying picture.)