"Don't fuck with the Sisko."


  -Benjamin Sisko

Benjamin Lafayette Sisko a.k.a. SAMUEL L. JACKSON a.k.a. MR. T is one damn slick panther that likes some sport called baseball. As punishment for not doing a good enough job of saving the U.S.S. Saratoga-toga-toga, and losing his wife at the Arse Whooping of constellation Dick Wolf 359 at the hands of the Borg, Sisko faced punishment by being put in charge of the ex-Spoonhead Space Station Deep Dish Nine

There for 7 years he had to put up with his butch second in command Bajoran Tamil Tiger Major offsider Kira Nerys, resident Augment physician Dr. Julian Bashir Singh, token hottie Jadzia Dax, bartender, drug dealer and holopimp Quark, and Quark's nemesis , the shapeshifting Constable Sherlock Odo. Along with other shady characters Elim Garak, Worf, Jadzia Dax's clone Ezri Dax, and his own son, that kid.

One day his suffering was spared though when the aliens living inside the spacehole decided to euthanise Sisko, making him one of them.

Before that though Sisko had to take charge in the non-Important Domination War, in which he led 40 billion Federation Starships to their doom against the almighty Domination, a race led by the genderless Makers, who ruled over their subservients the Vorta, who themselves ruled over the Jem-Hadar, whose addiction to liquified viagra kept them "going the distance on the battlefield" (nudge, nudge, wink, wink), making them the most bad-arse warriors in the Gamma Quadrant, and possibly Mexico.

Sisko was understandably relieved when the conflict ended and he was killed off by the Spacehole Aliens, thus ensuring he wouldn't face an obvious Court Martial, for leading an estimated 600 trillion Starfleet lackeys, and their Alien slaves to their deaths in an effort to win the Domination War, which was only won thanks to the Reman gimp and short term Emperor of Romulus Shinzon, who test fired his Thalaron weapon on the Domininations homeworld, ending the conflict.

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For canonites with no sense of humor, Memory Alpha has created a so-called article on Benjamin Sisko.

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