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HeyShran

Christ. You aren't worthy enough to babysit O'Brien's kids.

Trip Tucker III was the son of Trip Tucker Jr., noted bass fisherman and Budweiser enthusiast. His grandfather, Trip Tucker, Sr. was a crazy redneck who survived Earth's World War III by killing people on the highway and eating them.

Tucker is a lot like Scotty, if you took everything charming and likable about Scotty and blasted it with a type-XII phaser array. All you have left is a character with a stupid accent and is so painful to watch on screen you consider popping in "Timecop" whenever he's on camera for an excess of 2.5 seconds. Tucker also wuvs technobabble and T'Pol. Sadly, he is the third of the main trio of "Enterprise" characters.

Sigh.

I will give Tucker credit where credit's due. If all the Star Trek Chief Engineers got into a battle royale, Tucker would easily best LaForge. Granted, LaForge is the blind guy, but Levar Burton is a terrifyingly buff man. I think Levar works out by bench pressing apartment complexes. But LaForge (the fictional character) always seemed like a bit of a pussy. So yeah, I'd say Tucker would get a serious fourth place in that match. And boy has he got competition.


STARFLEET ENGINEER CAGE MATCH!


You fucking well know that a raging half Klingon bitch, a Scotsman with a long career as a barfighter, and an Irishman built like steamroller are getting the Gold, Silver, and Bronze. Granted, I have no clue as to who would win this match. It depends on who's drunk, what era they're from, if the fight is actually IN engineering (and what ship's engineering bay), if Torres is on the rag, etc.

But Geordi gets last, making Tucker a plucky underdog for a medal.

I also suspect Catfish plunked T'Pol's mom in that one episode he went to Vulcan.

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