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Look at those nielsons

The Federation hears the news about The Odyssey.

The Dominion War should have gone something like this.

  • Day 2. A few Starfleet ships have already arrived at Deep Space Nine. Suddenly, Gowron arrives leading 50-85% of the Klingon Imperial Fleet. Gowron himself is sporting a cowboy hat, leather chaps, and a gigantic golden medallion with a ruby-encrusted portrait of John Rambo in the center around his neck. He is smoking a hand-rolled cigar and nipping at a bottle of whiskey. Gowron hails the station with the message; "I heard y'all had some trouble."
Chuck-norris

Chancellor Gowron

  • Day 3. Gowron leads his fleet and the assembled Starfleet ships into the Bajoran Wormhole. Everything within 15 light years of the Gamma Quadrant exit is atomized by phasers, disruptors, and photon/quantum torpedoes. Initial waves of Jem'Hadar, while inflicting heavy casualties on the invading force, are blown to kingdom come. Klingons haven't had a good batshit insane battle galactic war in over 100 years and they take all that stored up aggression out on the Dominion. Half the Klingon commanders forget to turn their shields on, as they aren't much use against Dominion Weapons. They die glorious deaths while killing thousands of purple, lab-grown, souless abominations toward God.
  • Day 5. Battle still rages in the Gamma Quadrant. Most of the Starfleet has arrived at DS9 and is waiting to go through he wormhole. Commander Benjamin Sisko then opens a communications channel to the entire sector stating; "To all you invisible Romulans in range. I know you're out there. You want in on this shit or what?" 800 Romulan warbirds then decloak around the Bajor system, and Commander Tomalak responds to the Sisko's message with; "Yeah, let's do this."

The Romulan/Federation Fleet enters the wormhole to reinforce the Klingon/Federation Fleet. After decoding frantic Dominion communiques, the monstrous fleet of doom from the Alpha/Beta Quadrants determines the Founders' homeworld is in the Omarian Nebula. Before the Federation forces can decide what to do with this information (what with their ethics and morals and all) a Romulan battle group enters the Founders' nebula and destroys the Dominion home planet with enough firepower to make Rommel, Montgomery, MacArthur, Nimitz, Zhukov, Kirk, Kor, and Janeway weep with joy. 98% of the Founders are killed. Did our side even figure out they were Changelings? Who cares. Sorry, Odo.

CommTomalak mini

Commander Tomalak, cleanser of the Omarian Nebula.

  • Day 6 Countless more starships have arrived at Deep Space Nine, including those from but not limited to the Breen, Tholians, Cardassians, Gorn, First Federation, and those guys that talk in those funny metaphors led by Paul Winfield who died so Picard could understand them. Just as they are all about to go through the wormhole, Ferengi Grand Nagus Zek shows up in a modestly-sized spacecraft made of pure latinum.

As he recieved oo-mox, Zek explains that its all going to be totally cool as he has hired the Nausicaans to finish off the Dominion.

more to come

more to come

Memory Alpha logo
For canonites with no sense of humor, Memory Alpha has created a so-called article on Dominion War.

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