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Rascals

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Sid the science kid

Captain Picard at twelve years of age.

God. I don't know how many gags can be made out of Rascals. I mean, it has a wonderful opening for mere seconds, when Picard is just gushing and acting like a real person rather than a walking uniform with too much starch. I mean, Keiko walks away from this episode with two stories to tell for the rest of her life - being turned into a little kid AND witnessing Jean-Luc Picard act like a fucking regular human being.

This whole episode can be described in one word: Komedy!

Crap That Occurred Edit

  • Picard got his hair back. But lost his pubes.
  • O'Brien. Lolicon. This goes to show they were doing "O'Brien Must Suffer" episodes long before DS9.
  • Ferengi pirates took over the ship. Where do you start on this? I'm glad Odo pointed this episode out to Worf on DS9 as an example of the ineptitude of Enterprise-D security. Not only do we have to conclude that these Ferengi were the most amazing members of their race in the history of the galaxy but that these guys rank up as some of the most successful groups of foes ever to show up in the goddamned franchise. Not to mention the fact that the Ferengi point out the utter stupidity of bringing kids on a fucking starship! This is the closest the Ferengi would ever come to being the true villains they were meant to be.
  • The director told the child actress playing Ro Laren to just "act like a total bitch". I'm sure of it.
  • Guinan, despite the delivery of one or two good lines, was totally unneeded here. Now Barclay or Worf as the one of the kids - that shit would have been gold. Even a visiting Romulan or something.
  • Since young Picard looks just like his nephew Renee, we must determine that Jean-Luc boinked his brother's wife and Renee is actually his son. Move over Wesley Crusher!
  • Dr. Crusher, as the only one who knows the secret of the childhood-transport cause and cure, will live to be over 800,000 years old. I mean, everytime she gets her period Beverly must just think "fuck this" and zap herself back to a preteen...........Holy God! Blueshirts really are immortals! I wonder what starship has Sean Connery as Science Officer.

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