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Under Construction
12-25-08
May 2009
Soon
Direct-To-DVD
Star Trek XI or Star Trek: Stand By Me or Star Trek: Rounders or Star Trek: Dare Devil Meets The Bourne Identity or Star Trek: Trek must move forward to attract a new audience so we're digging up 2 characters, 1 at least had a proper send off in Generations, yeah this is supposed to attract a new audience, by yet again focusing on 2 characters that had 3 Seasons and 6 movies devoted to them! or Star Trek: Blasphemy or simply Star Trek has been greenlighted by CBS/Paramount/Desilu/Viacom/Westwood One/Infinity/Columbia Broadcasting System/Dumont/UBS execs and will appear in cineplexes near you in 2008, with a release to DVD/Blue Ray a week later. Noted TV auteur J. Jonah Jameson, creator of the wildly original "Gilligan's Lost Death Island of Karate and Ex-Files Like Nonsense" is set to write, produce, direct, score, and key grip the picture.
While no script has been written yet, CBSPDVWOICBSDUBS did release poster art 15 years in advance of the picture's pre-production. Savvy "Trekkies" might be able to divine something of the plot, but the rest of the Real World -folks living above ground and kissing girls from time to time- will have to wait.
This movie has been denounced by trekkies/trekkers everywhere as creating an alternate timeline in which Star Trek is cool and Spock and Uhura make out on the transporter pad. We also get to see James T. Kirk with an Orion. That dude from Heroes, uhhh Sylar, you know the one. The guy who can freeze time? Yeah, that one, he's supposed to be playing Spock. William Shatner, originally slated to have a cameo, is out. Leonard Nimoy musn't have anything else to do, so he's rumoured to be in. There's also an insane Romulan in it as well, along with a sword-fighting Sulu, and Chekov.
Alternate reality appears to be ruled by different laws of probability. Kirk has unusual tendency for hanging on a cliff by his fingertips as seen twice in the trailer and twice more in the movie.
Supporting Cast[]
- Alan Ruck — Captain Cameron
- Mia Sara — Mrs. Captain Cameron
- Debra Wilson — Young Guinan
- C. Thomas Howell — Young Mr. Guinan
- Alicia Keys — Robot Guinan
- Tom Cruise — Christopher Trout
- Macaulay Culkin — Young Q
- [Simon Pegg] — Shaun Bisley-Dennis-Doyle-Nicholas-Angel Scotty (Benji)
- Max von Sydow — Starfleet Academy Headmaster Grimesby MacStodgington
- John Cena — captain of the Starfleet Academy ringball team
- and Jerry Mathers as "The Beaver"
- With an unnecessary cameos by
- Jessica Alba as the hottest babe in the galaxy
- Nelly Furtado as Sushi-loving crewmember
- Nathan Lane as Larry Spock, Spock's bastard, non-Vulcan cousin
- and Special Appearance by
- Leonard Nimoy as a guy who's going to regret making that special appearance, NARF!
Not in this film[]
Nobody except William Shatner.
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