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Warp core

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The Warp Core is great for starting sentences that end in "That's what she said."
Funnyface

Warp core: That's what she said! Picard: Good one!


For Example:


The Warp Core is overloading!

The Warp Core is about to breach!

The Warp Core could use a polish (or Polish...).

The Warp Core is so big.

Does the Warp Core go all the way up the shaft?

Is that your Warp Core, or are you happy to see me?


About Warp CoresEdit

A Warp Core is the key component to warp drive and it is listed in many technical manuals as "the doohicky that enables you to go reeeally fast."

The truth of the matter is far more interesting, however, as Starfleet buys these things from reputable businessmen. Warp cores are known to be the only device known to break down faster than either life support OR shields on a starfleet vessel. Events such as weapons fire, power surges, Spatial anomalies, or even a slight touch can cause this device to break down for hours on end.

As a propulsion system, the warp core can enable a ship to travel at speeds greater than your average elderly driver, however a built-in device synchronizes with enemy warp cores to reduce its maximum speed to slightly less than the enemy's, thus ensuring Starfleet crews will not simply run away from a fight when the perfectly good self destruct mechanism can be put to good use. Warp cores are known to only function properly when provided with special deuterium-diesel gas and Dilithium crystals, both of which seem to run out at inconvenient times.

Starfleet engineers have a well known fetish for warp cores, often accidentally breaking the delicate device by lovingly stroking its casing.


This article is a stub because the previous author was too damn lazy to finish it.

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